Jim Zippo’s 2016 Christmas Shopping Guide

1. The Star Wars Stormtrooper Toaster! – Buy Now@Amazon $59.99, also on eBay. Of course, you already have the Darth Vader toaster that toasts the Star Wars logo onto your bread, now get your toaster a minion with this Stormtrooper toaster. On each slice of bread it will toast the Galactic Empire Logo onto each side. A perfect gift idea for any Star Wars lover, the Stormtrooper toaster will also go perfectly next to your Death Star waffle iron.

2. Mouth-Moving Animal Masks That Move Their Mouth When You Talk! Buy Now@Amazon $52.49, also found on eBay. These masks feature moving mouths that move up and down whenever you speak, making them seem extra realistic. BONUS! It also lets you easily drink beer with the mask on, which has always been the biggest problem with masks since the dawn of mankind. When opening your mouth, you will have direct access through the masks mouth to pop a beer in to drink.

3. The Upright Posture Trainer: Vibrates Whenever It Senses You Slouching! Buy Now@Amazon $129.95. Also on eBay. Chances are you’re probably slouching as you’re reading this, and as you finish this sentence you’re probably straightening your back because you didn’t realize you were slouching. This device, called Upright, attaches to your back and will vibrate and bug you every-time you start slouching to help train your subconscious to stop slouching.

4. The Nerf N-Strike Mega Mastodon: A Giant Nerf Machine Gun! Buy Now@Amazon $73.50, also on eBay. Nerf guns have certainly gotten better since I played with them as a child. The best thing I had was a Nerf bow-and-arrow that shoots this big silly arrow at like 3 mph. Now they have Nerf rifle guns that shoot Nerf balls at up to 70 MPH, and this giant Nerf machine gun that has a motorized rotating drum that spits out the bullets.

5. The Parrot Smart Plant Watering Pot! – Buy Now@Amazon $149.99, also on eBay. This smart plant pot will water your plant all on its own. You can control it and setup a schedule using your smartphone and will automatically water your plant on its own for up to 1 month before you need to refill it.

6. The Rubik’s Cube Table Cat Bed! – Buy Now@etsy $1,500.00, also on Amazon Buy on Ebay. This giant Rubick’s cube is made with a cat bed inside of it, so your cat has the fanciest bed in the house. Not only is it a cat bed, but it can also act as a side-table, it has a pull-out drawer on the top squares, plus the entire top spins around like an actual Rubick’s cube. And if your cat gets bored, they can always try to solve it at night.

7. The Ham-Dogger! Makes Hot Dog Shaped Hamburger Patties. Buy Now@Amazon just $10.99, or eBay. The Ham Dogger lets you cook hot dog shaped hamburgers, for the solution that no one really wanted, but perfect if you only have hot dog buns on hand! No longer will you have to try to fit your burgers into a hot dog bun, now they will fit perfectly.

8. The Can Cannon: A Beer Gun That Launches Beer Cans Over 100 Yards! Buy Now@xproducts $299.21 – worth every penny; buy on Amazon Buy on Ebay. The XProducts Can Cannon is an add-on device that you can attach to any AR-15 or M-16 rifle to give you gun the ability to launch cans up to 100 yards in distance. The way it works is the gas ported barrel and pressure tube reduces the exposure to high-pressure gases which would normally destroy delicate projectiles, thus allowing you to launch your 12-ounce beer cans.

9. Star Trek Enterprise Child Rocking Horse! Beam one up, Scotty…Now@etsy $195.00, also Amazon Buy and Ebay. If your kids are more into space than horses, they’ll be into Star Trek. Sure, this won’t do much for their social life, but it will help them live long and prosper. 2 styles: one of them gallops through the air, and one of them gallops through space and time.

10. The Tyrannosaurus Rex Bottle Opener! His jaws pop off the top. Buy Now@Amazon $40.00, also on eBay. If you could choose any animal alive, dead, extinct, or imaginary to open your bottle of soda or beer, I think the Tyrannosaurus Rex would probably take the cake for me. They just have the perfect jaw angle, razor sharp teeth, plus their arms are too stubby and short for them to do anything about it. This dinosaur bottle opener is a mini cast-iron T-Rex that will remove the caps from your bottles by using its jaw.

More from Jim Zippo

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