Rebekah Black’s 2016 Christmas Shopping Guide

Raise your hand if you’ve ever fallen asleep at work. Oh no? Never? You’re just looking for a friend? Well, you’ve come to the right place.

Look, I’ll be honest, I have fallen asleep on the job. And not by accident either. There was a brief moment in college when I worked for cellphone company. It was by far the most boring job I’ve ever had. It opened at 9AM, but I never had a customer before noon. Since it was back in 2000, the internet wasn’t quite the plethora of awesome that it is now. So, most days, I would go in the back room, sit in a chair, prop my head up on the inside of my arm, and sleep.

Thankfully, the store owner had one of those alarms on the door. You know the kind that makes that obnoxious ring every time it opens. Seriously, I was like a trained dog. No matter how deep my slumber was, I could always hear that dang chime.

So this Christmas, get your sleeping coworkers items that will only enhance their work nap.

  1. Wireless Motion Sensor Alarm and Chime Kit – Wireless is the key here. They are easy to mount, there are no cords to give you away, and the chime feature will gently nudge you awake. Now whether you are hiding your sleepy head behind a giant computer screen or you are under the desk is totally up to you. Just make sure that if you are under the desk, you have a good excuse for being on the floor…like, “Oh, I was just looking for my contact” or “dropped my pen.”
  2. Cataract Sunglasses – Yep, those ugly old people glasses that wrap around your eyes. You’ll need to make sure each and every one of your coworkers sees you walk into the office wearing these. And you will need to wear them all day. You can either tell everyone you went to the eye doctor and your pupils are still dialated or that you have a migraine.
  3. Peel and Stick Googley Eyes – Don’t let these stickers fool you. They aren’t just for kids. Any hard working adult can use these in a pinch. You just stick them right on your closed eyelids and head to dream town. And since they’re portable, you can take them all your meetings.
  4. Dell 55 Inch Computer Monitor – Ok, so your new monitor doesn’t have to be a Dell. Get whatever works with your current computer system. We’re going for size on this one. The bigger the better. A 55 inch monitor will easily block most of your body making it super easy to sleep on the job. In fact, with a monitor of this size sitting on your desk, you can easily kick back in your chair and put your feet up for a little afternoon snooze.
  5. Suitjamas (for men) – Pajamas that look like a suit. Tuxedo Onesie – This will come in handy for those boring black tie events.
  6. Pajamajeans – These gems look like denim, but feel like jammies. Bammies – Business jammies. Since we don’t all have the option of wearing jeans to work, Bammies have that designer look, but as comfortable as your weekend sweatpants.
  7. SnooZoo Polar Bear Sleeping Bag – In every office, there is that one person with a million trinkets on their desk. Who’s to say, that person can’t be you? Bring in as many stuffed animals as your boss with allow. Add this polar bear into the mix. Little do you coworkers know that all you have to do is simply unzip it and get in!
  8. Schnap Hammock – It’s a hammock that fits perfectly into the nook under your desk. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like this product is in production just yet. That’s ok! I have a backup plan! ENO SingleNest Hammock – This heavy duty resting place was made for those crazy people who rock climb and sleep on the side of a mountain. No need for that! You can just rig it up under your workspace. You may also need a couple of these…STAUBER Samson Multi-Purpose Suction Cups – which will hold the hammock and your weight. Each pair only hold 75 pounds, so you will need to double up.
  9. Bed-Desk – It’s a hybrid! Half bed, half desk! This bad boy is the ultimate in work naps. It comes with a mattress, a pillow, and a sliding door to block yourself off from the outside working world. Not only does it come completely finished, but it looks sleek too! The modern design is sure the detract anyone from realizing that you’re napping on the job.
  10. Cardboard Cutout Standees – YES! You can literally replicate yourself. Just send in a pic and voila, you’ve got your very own body double. Prop your twin up in the office chair while you get in a round of REM.

And finally, I have one honorable mention for you. You should probably invest in some Breathe Right Strips. Why? Just in case. One snore and all of these nap plans go to pot.

More from Rebekah Black

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